Where We Are This Week

Rain in Tennessee, the southern border, and the primaries go to Middle Earth.

As Tennessee winters so often do, this week, we have moved from cold and wet to just wet. Our yard just barely survived the Great Thaw, but was immediately subjected to days of fog, mist, and rain; it has now been reduced to a series of puddles, bogs, and marshes that make walking in it an unmitigated mess.

It’s a debate about who deals with the cabin fever worse, me or the dog, but at least no one has to wipe my paws off when I come back in after demanding to be let out.

An old coworker of mine, who moved here from a border town in Texas, remarked that the winter months in Tennessee were just consistently wet - seemingly without any notable precipitation. I always liked that characterization of this season; the rain, when it does fall this time of year, is so thin and soft that it seems to permeate the atmosphere. You feel it as you move through the world laterally, not as it strikes down on you from the clouds above. Grey, damp, wet, Tennessee.

So spoiled am I the majority of the weeks of the year, that I get a little petulant when it’s this overcast for this long. But, you know, there’s a reason why I close each Where Are Are post with ‘to a better week.’ It’s not just some clever closing remark, but a commitment I’m offering up.

‘To a better next week’ isn’t just hoping for more favorable fortunes in the days to come, and it’s certainly not disparaging the week prior. It’s a prayer that I’ll be better by the next time we talk - that we all will.

This week, as the rain fell outside and my daughter was asleep in the next room, I felt all of the beauty and none of the inconvenience. The beauty of the quiet afternoon, and the comfort of the house that my wife has, through intent and the bargaining of my labor, made our home. That’s better, isn’t it?

Better is always within our grasp; only an effort away. So, with that being said, and the expectation being set too high, here’s to a better few minutes.

---

One to Rule Them All

Unsurprisingly, Donald Trump delivered a convincing victory over Nikki Haley in New Hampshire this Tuesday. After DeSantis dropped out of the presidential race - close observers noted that his tail could be viewed tucked tightly between his legs - at the weekend, it left Haley as the sole challenge to Trump’s winter coronation.

I’ve never been to New Hampshire, but when I write the state's name, I imagine it being pronounced like Bilbo Baggins’ home, the Shire. I realize that’s only setting myself up for disappointment if I were to ever travel there - I currently have no plans of doing so - because, surely, a place full of whimsy and magic wouldn’t also be Trump Country. If you’re now picturing Frodo wearing a bright red MAGA cap, then you’re welcome; this is exactly the type of nonsensical commentary you come back for every week.

Throughout the primary process, I’ve lulled myself into the false comfort of the neutral observer. I don’t really have a dog in the fight between any of the candidates on either side, so I can indulge in the spectacle without my feelings getting too hurt. Of course, that fantastical illusion only lasts until I remember that as an American, I’m just one of the dogs in the middle of the skirmish hoping to come out unscathed.

Tongue-in-cheek though I was, likening our country to Middle Earth, it’s not all that unfounded, is it? Our politicians proclaim their opponent to be the all-seeing Eye of Sauron with themselves being members of the Fellowship of the Ring. In reality, however, they’re just innumerable Gollums coveting for their precious while the rest of us orcs toil away in the mines.

I thought to myself earlier this week that I should reread that series soon; these last few paragraphs have only served to stoke that fire.

On the GOP side, the race is nothing but a formality at this point. Haley will likely stick around to embarrass herself by losing in her home state of South Carolina, and then - like the rest of them - angle for the vice presidency or a cabinet position. Like all of last year’s F1 season, the race for second place is about the only thing up for grabs at this point.

I wasn’t surprised by Trump’s victory at all. Disappointed, yes, but not shocked. What did elicit both of those responses, however, was President Biden’s 64% sweep of the New Hampshire primary.

If you remember, the Democratic Party tried to supersede the Iowa caucus and New Hampshire primary with South Carolina. President Biden didn’t fare so well in the first two states back in 2020, so, party leadership was hoping to give him some early momentum by moving the southern state’s election up by a few weeks. Voters in Iowa and New Hampshire were rightly aggravated by the move and refused to cast their ballots any later than they had in the last half-century.

Punitively, the Democratic Party held their Iowa caucus last week but is abstaining from releasing the results of said election until early March, and in New Hampshire, removed President Biden’s name from the ballot altogether. That’ll show them.

My own naive optimism has a way of letting me down. I thought that this would be a perfect opportunity for Dean Phillips to run the gamut in the New England state. Oh, man, how the Dean Team was going to wipe the floor with Oprah Winfrey’s former ‘spiritual advisor’, self-help, woo-woo weirdo Marianne Williamson.

No, over 79,000 Democrats willed themselves to write the letters J O S E P H R. B I D E N, in that order, to propel the man to victory. Trump’s 2024 nomination has been slated from the moment he was sworn in back in January 2017, but Biden was always supposed to be an interim president. No one expected this guy to complete his first term, much less run for a second.

What a stranglehold corporate politics have on the minds of the American voter. I’m as baffled by the left’s undying support of Joe Biden as the New York Times was clueless about the provenance of Trump’s popularity in 2016. The fact that a write-in candidate - I know, I know, he’s the incumbent - was able to dominate the proceedings is unbelievable. Remember, he was only removed from the ballot as punishment to the state who dared to go against the party line.

In what can only be explained as the fulfillment of some masochistic fantasy, American voters across both parties have resoundingly stated, “Thank you, sir, may have I another?” And to the rest of us, beatings will continue until morale improves or until those who seek to rule us are thrown into the depths of Mordor.

---

The Border: Don’t Call it a Crisis

As I alluded to last week, the easiest way to avert a crisis at the southern border is to not have a border at all. Despite all available contravening rationale, the current administration must have taken my advice.

The most recent data from the Department of Homeland Security showed that as of October of 2023, the United States Border Patrol had close to 2.5 million encounters. Over the course of the calendar year, the amount of illegal immigrants that entered the country through the southern border has well exceeded a total of 1 million. Those figures don’t necessarily include all gotaways either - which is a funny term for a serious problem.

The latest scandal down at the border involves a row between Texas Governor Greg Abbott and President Biden. Having had enough of the overwhelming amount of undocumented immigrants flooding their border, Texan officials laid razor wire on the banks of the Rio Grande in order to stem foot traffic. The Biden Administration, perturbed by Abbott’s actions, sent agents to remove said razor wire - because no one likes a problem once it’s been solved.

A legal battle ensued that culminated with the Supreme Court ruling in a 5-4 decision that federal agents have supremacy in regards to controlling the border and therefore, can remove whatever obstacles local or state law enforcement have installed. Notably - and perhaps hilariously - the ruling does not prohibit states from implementing such forms of deterrence which means we could see an unending cycle of installation and removal of razor wire by federal and state agents, respectively.

In unrelated news, I’m now accepting early investors for my bourgeoning border defense business: Razor Wire - A Cut Above the Rest.

If there’s one issue I’m sick of, it’s this one. Republican governors like Abbott and DeSantis ship immigrants into the interior of the country, infuriating Democratic mayors like Eric Adams, and the Biden Administration employs tactics that only exacerbate the problem.

The current US policy on illegal immigration harms every party involved. Border towns and so-called sanctuary cities don’t have the infrastructure to accommodate population increases of thousands per day - and there is no way you can convince me that the safety of the American public has been ensured when the identity or background of these immigrants has been hardly adequately investigated.

On the other hand, the poor souls - of whom I don’t doubt make up the majority - who are seeking work and opportunity in America are left in the lurch, bastardized and abandoned by undocumentation. Asylum seekers are only able to apply for work permits six months after their asylum appeal has been processed which undoubtedly sends them into an impoverished limbo until who-knows-when.

Those who can’t obtain work permits - who have essentially been encouraged to cross the border at their peril - are then left unprotected by minimum wages and worker protections, and handed over to the predations of corporate interests. American workers and illegal immigrants are pitted against each other in a conflict of exploitation while corporate America reaps the spoils of the victor. The Democratic party anticipates millions of new party members should the eventual amnesty be given which is a gross misuse and manipulation of immigration policy.

And this is to say nothing of the large fortunes - both of gold and body - the cartels have extracted from desperate migrants while ferreting them from border to border.

What makes matters worse is that the useful idiots in Congress have no discernible intention of solving the matter. The GOP has attached immigration reform to Israel, Ukraine, and Taiwan funding in a bill that has been predictably held up in negotiations. It’s a real Sophie’s Choice for Dems, send a few more billions to ward off Putin for a few more months and get a hold of the crisis at the border, or do nothing for anyone. You’ll never guess which one they’re prioritizing. Just when you thought Putin was an existential threat to democracy everywhere, it turns out that defense can be postponed.

Not to be outdone, reportedly, former President Donald Trump - remember him? - has privately expressed his discontent to Republican lawmakers that passing such a bill in an election year would give a win to his opponent. That’s my crisis you’re trying to solve! Mitch McConnell, in a closed-door GOP meeting, said that the politics concerning the southern border have changed, and he didn’t want to take any actions that might disadvantage the GOP presidential candidate.

This confirms the rule that elected officials only are motivated when it serves them personally or when it puts their counterparts’ noses out of joint. There’s no motivator quite like contempt.

Meanwhile, an elderly man with a grey beard, long cloak, and staff has made his way to the Rio Grande, and has begun shouting, ‘None shall pass!” Results have varied.

To a better next week.

Cheers,

~FDA