Where We Are This Week
Biden drops out to our collective relief, Kamala Harris is still awful, and anti-Israel protestors burn the American flag while playing 3D chess.
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Some weeks I’m just out of ideas. Some weeks I just don’t know what to say. After the tumultuous couple of weeks we’ve just had, who can really say anything that would make sense of the disarray in which we find ourselves?
I used to think that we were a nation, now, I’m certain we’re just a few million metallic balls in a continental-sized pinball machine being played by an increasingly erratic, puberty-ridden pre-teen hopped up on Mountain Dew.
An assassination attempt, an incumbent president withdrawing from the race in his first term, and an unelected Democratic candidate and I’m at a loss. My music choice has even stalled out; for the second week in a row I’m listening to The Rolling Stones’ Beggars Banquet — okay, I’m not actually complaining about that one, it’s genius.
No new ideas. That’s how you’re getting whatever your next ten minutes scrolling this page will be. Coincidentally, that’s also how we’re getting Kamala Harris as the Democrat Party’s nominee for the President of the United States.
Officer Harris
Nothing quite says progressivism like nominating the former Attorney General of California who refused to comply with federal mandates to reduce the inmate population of the Western state’s prison system arguing that it might ‘deplete the labor pool’ available to the local government.
Before Harris’ time as AG, the California prison system was not nearly as serene as its shoreline. At one point, they reached 200% capacity with conditions so bad that excess deaths had been reported. In a 2011 Supreme Court decision, a conservative court ruled 5-4 that the conditions violated the prisoners’ constitutional rights not to be subjected to inhumane or cruel punishments.
Due to the lack of effort the state government had displayed in resolving the abysmal conditions and the lack of a more efficient resolution, the Supreme Court ordered that the release of nonviolent offenders would be the most expedient way to alleviate the conditions of the prisons.
By then, Harris was serving as AG and would be tasked with complying with the federal court’s order. She was so horrified that she fought the mandate at every available opportunity repeatedly petitioning to increase the maximum threshold of overpopulation.
This is the same woman who was proud to prosecute the parents of truants, who bragged about smoking weed once or twice (while imprisoning thousands for the ‘crime’), and who has an adorable affinity for Venn diagrams — just don’t ask her to explain how they work.
This is what happens when Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion becomes the predominant political selection pressure of the Left. Who cares how many boxes a multiracial woman can tick when her policies and ideas are insane?
Her track record is neither Left nor Right — she was an incoherent policy VP pick by Joe Biden and, now, thanks to him dropping out of the race, will be the chosen one at this year’s Democratic Convention.
This is the problem when identity politics becomes the discourse du jour of American politics. The discussion becomes about how much of a womanizer Donald Trump is and whether or not he paid Russian prostitutes to urinate on a hotel bed that Barack Obama supposedly slept in once — yes, this is how ridiculous American politics have become — or about how brat Kamala Harris, which, if it weren’t popularized by popstar Charli XCX would definitely be called misogynistic by the pro-Kamala crowd.
It’s the result of the my team vs your team dynamics that led to the Dutch fans going nuts for Wout Weghorst at this summer’s Euros ( which is fine if you love the guy but not so much if you want to score goals. )
Kamala Harris is a terrible candidate but the Left is so blinded by intersectionality, patting themselves on the back for being her champions, and the Right is equally obsessed with their hatred of inclusivity to the point that neither side will adequately interrogate the ideas of the coronated presidential hopeful.
I’m convinced she’s going to be president.
The President Taps Out
Last month, at UFC 302, Kevin Holland’s victory over Michal Oleksiejczuk ( I copied and pasted that last name ) perfectly surmised the Joe Biden 2024 re-election bid.
At the end of the first round, the two middleweights found themselves on the mat with one in quite a precarious position. After losing the majority of the round, Holland found himself in the driver’s seat as he put Oleksiejczuk in an arm bar.
The arm bar was so secure and the fight totally under Holland’s control that the tap seemed imminent. Seconds went by. No tap. The fans groaned. The arm bent more. My wife covered her face. More seconds went by. Holland looked at the ref, Herb Dean. No tap. My wife wants it to stop. I’ve closed one eye. No tap. Until that moment, Holland was being nice assuming, like the rest of us, that his opponent would willingly submit instead of letting him break his arm. We had all assumed wrong.
One final exertion of force and the arm broke. Holland’s hand was raised and Oleksiejczuk shuffled off in defeat.
That’s Biden. The past several months have yielded more utterances of ‘why hasn’t that guy dropped out?’ than anyone can keep count. After the debate, things got worse. Biased and unbiased observers alike were begging him to drop out. If not for the future of the country then at least for his dignity. Biden’s response? ‘No can do, kimosabe.’
Ultimately, Biden was forced out by unsurmountable political pressure coming from within his own party. House Speaker Jeffries and Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer were among the most prominent members of the property to implore the incumbent to recuse himself from the race. Finally, thankfully, mercifully, Joe Biden submitted.
The last several months of his presidency, however, will be yet another rerun of the Holland arm bar. Every time Biden opens his mouth until January— or walks on or off a stage for that matter — his compromised position will be evident.
Like Oleksiejczuk, there’s no way Biden reaches the end of the round. Either he taps or that arm’s going to snap.
White Gaza
Benjamin Netanyahu traveled to the United States to meet with President Biden and address Congress. Nothing happened and it wasn’t controversial at all.
To a better next week,
Of course, I’m kidding. Thousands of protestors roamed the streets wishing, praying for a violent altercation with a policeman or if they could only corner a Zionist into some dark alley somewhere.
Kamala Harris refused to attend Netanyahu’s speech which shows exactly the type of diplomatic prowess a Harris presidency would wield. Rashida Tlaib wore a keffiyeh and held up an arts and crafts project that read ‘War Criminal’ while Netanyahu was speaking. The progressive left and the new, isolationist right, were equally appalled that the Israeli Prime Minister was invited to the nation’s capital but only the left lit things on fire.
An effigy of Netanyahu was paraded through DC that depicted the Israeli PM with devil horns and blood dripping from his fangs — almost as if whoever created this papier mâché masterpiece was entirely aware of Nazi propaganda. Another Bibi effigy ( it was a multi-effigy protest ) was burnt along with the American flag to chants of ‘burn that shit’ — of course.
Several American flags were removed throughout the city and replaced with the Palestinian flag — does that mean we’ve been conquered? Is there a grace period with Sharia Law? — and the words Hamas and Free Palestine were graffitied on historical monuments all over DC. For those keeping score, no effigies of Yahya Sinwar were set ablaze by pro-Israel counterprotests and no Stars of David have appeared on the Lincoln Memorial.
Oh, and I almost forgot, protestors — if you can even call them that — released maggots in the hotel where freed Israeli hostages were staying for Netanyahu’s visit answering the question, ‘exactly how thrilled are you some hostages have been rescued?’
American politics and particularly the modern Left remind me of the subject of the John Prine song ‘Come Back to Us Barbara Lewis Hare Krishna Beauregard’. The woman in question has long since left home, joined a misguided religious movement or two, and has gotten hooked on the hard stuff. What do you say to that person when you find them in the parking lot of your grocery store with scuffed knees and bad teeth? How do you show them the way back home?
I prefaced this week’s article warning that I have no new ideas, and, evidently, neither do they. At least John Prine left us a few good ones. “For if heartaches were commercials, we’d all be on TV.”
To a better next week,
Cheers,
~FDA
Your disclaimer made me laugh out loud.
Keep at this - you’re clear and funny. I don’t engage with federal politics much, but I keep coming back because I enjoy getting to understand your point of view.