fractions
an anniversary no one remembers, vp debates, and volvo gets über pro-life.
÷ volvo is a right wing, fundamentalist Swedish car manufacturer
Yeah, you heard that right.
First of all, I only watch UFC events to keep tabs on the right-wing fascist nutjobs whose idea of a good time is to spend $200 on Bud Light in the nosebleeds and a chance to say they’ve been in the same room as Kid Rock and Donald Trump. It has nothing to do with how much I love it.
Last Saturday, the UFC was in Paris. I have more to say on that but, for now, suffice to say I was thrilled to hear Bruce Buffer shout, ‘Bonsoir, madames et monsieurs!’ to a crowd of red-wine-sipping, MMA enthusiasts.
During the broadcast, though, Volvo repeatedly ran two ads that showed their new electric vehicle automatically breaking to save the life of some jay-walking broad who just told her husband, presumably, that she was pregnant.
In the intervening moments, Volvo — remember, they’re only a car company — shows flashes of the possible future of the mother and her child. Her birth, her first birthday, her first dance recital.
Thus revealing what we all ought to know is true; yes, that teeny little thing in the woman’s belly will continue to be a human being outside of the womb in just a few short months. That, and Volvo wants no part in a double homicide.
÷ JD Vance does the Walz
In some alternate reality, we’d be getting the debate between the estranged son of Bob Vance, of Vance Refrigeration, and a ballroom dance instructor who does a mean foxtrot.
Tonight is the debate between the Vice Presidential candidates, and it couldn’t mean less. Don’t believe me? Ask yourself what it would take for you to change your vote at this point.
Vance will try to be relatable by professing that he remembers what it’s like to be poor, and Walz will do the same thing by attempting to remember what it was like before he fell in love with communism.
If we’re lucky, they’ll eschew the debate, shotgun some brewskis, and play some darts like the two regular guys we all know them to be.
÷ the Artsakh Exodus
Last week marked one year since the forced expulsion of over 150,000 Armenians from the disputed Nagorno-Karabakh region in Azerbaijan.
On September 20th, Azerbaijan engaged in a large military operation in the region that saw over 600 Armenian casualties and concluded with an ethnic cleansing.
The Western world wasn’t too bothered about the blockade and starvation of the region and, true to form, wasn’t clutching their pearls in the aftermath. It’s funny how the social justice types have nothing to say when a Muslim-majority nation is doing the very thing they accuse Israel of doing.
It’s almost as if tragedies have certain prerequisites that have to be fulfilled before certain people care about them. Huh.